War isn’t just other people’s business. Even when it is far away, its impact can feel very close. Has your child asked you about, or worried about, countries that are at war? Here we share some strategies for supporting, protecting and reassuring children when news of war worries them.
Ideas from our team of psychologists:
- Try to watch the news when they aren’t around. Children may believe that everything on television or social media is reality, without questioning it critically. They may also believe that if a news story appears many times, it must be something they should worry about.
- Avoid exposing children to violent images. They can trigger fears or even traumatic images.
- If you want to explain to your children what being at war means, choose the information you want to share. You can point out the countries on a map or use drawings or children’s materials created for these situations.
- They will probably ask us why there is a war. Use it to open a really interesting discussion: the meaning of “power”. You can explain that some people are made happy by feeling powerful. You can also talk about the consequences of being guided by power as opposed to love, humanity and cooperation. Adapt it to each age or level of understanding.
- Separate people from the conflict. Not everyone from a country is involved in the war. This way you prevent them from developing rejection towards a whole population, and you encourage empathy instead of hatred.
- Highlight acts of solidarity. Point out the good things other countries are doing to take in families or to pass laws in support of human rights. Take the chance to ask your child what you can all do. Some examples: welcoming refugees, making a donation, sending them food, praying or sending them positive energy. Each of us with whatever is within reach.
- It’s important that they feel safe. Some will wonder whether we could be at war too, or whether people could come here to attack us. It would be good to get ahead of this and give them a reassuring message. Explain that there have always been countries at war; it just wasn’t talked about as much on the news.
Remember: children see the world through our eyes. If we show them calm, hope and empathy, they will learn to feel safe even when the news seems harsh. Our example is key to raising them with empathy and cooperation, and so building a more peaceful future.
